Overthinking it all.

As I started to embark on this new writing direction, a flood of ideas came to mind.  I did a couple of drafts of different ideas.  These drafts are close to what I like to publish, but lack something that make me comfortable publishing it. 

Then I got to thinking.......Do these drafts lack something or I am overthinking it?

Overthinking......it is something I have always done.  I have never been accused of underthinking everything.  My father made an interesting observation a couple years ago about my thought process.  It went something like this.......he said you think fast.  Very fast.  You see almost every permutation of a situation.  You worked it thought your brain and come to a conclusion or decision.  The frustrating part for people around you is that when you go to explain your decision making process, you skip through all or a lot of the parts of that process, and present your conclusion or decision.  And people get frustrated that you do not share your thought process.

Yes - this is true.

But he went on.......then when you do share your thought process, it is apparent that you think differently than most people.   

In fact as I sit writing this, in my mind I begin to see how each word, sentence and paragraph create this 3D flow chart in my mind.   Does this mean that I know how I am going to conclude this post.  No, but yes.  

But is seeing all possibilities necessarily a bad thing?  It can be when it inhibits performance or postpones in making a decision.  

So in overthinking what I write, how I write, how it will be perceived, et al., I allow my words to become a prisoner of my anxiety-ridden, completely worrisome, overthinking nature.  

This post hopefully will motivate me to set aside that innate nature and put my writings out there.

Thanks for indulging my pseudo-cathartic overthinking.
As always, thanks for reading; more to come.

A New Direction

Normally my writings have been about E, life et al.  Recently, I have pondered expanding the range of my writing.  Political, historical perspective, scientific, and even fiction are areas that I think I'd to explore.

I have more than a few topics that I want to write.  I initially worried that this shift in the subject matter writing will not fit the title of this blog and, more importantly, not fit me.

I named this blog, A View from the Periphery, because of the seemingly periphery that a life of an individual and family impacted by autism leads.   Living in the periphery is nothing new to families impacted by autism; staying in the back of rooms for an easy escape, trip to the bathroom, etc...  Trying to subtly blend into the world, being just enough in the world to experience it, but not so much as to affect it.

In thinking through how the title fits with the new direction, I think the title still works.

Periphery means the outer limits or edge of an area or object.  

A view from the periphery is a great metaphor for how I think, write, act and experience the world.  

Thanks for indulging my new writing direction.

Thanks for reading; more to come.

Daylight Savings Time

Daylight savings time (DST) - you are nothing but a cruel heartless transition for families impacted by autism.  Well - that may be a bit of an exaggeration, but that statement is true nonetheless for my family.

Yesterday's spring forward was more than a bit dysregulating for E.  He woke up fine, but as the day progressed he got crabbier and crabbier.  Nothing seemed to put him in a good mood - not his favorite music, not his favorite electronic, not a movie, nothing!  It seems that the leap ahead is devastating to his routine, his psyche and his life.

The pinnacle of his dysregulation crested from 3:30 to 9:00 when he finally went to sleep.  Or was fake sleeping because he was up within 15 minutes of being asleep and jumping onto my side of the bed.  Even sleep cannot conquer the monster that is DST or as I am now renaming it - Day of Substantial Tantrums.

He complained about dinner, about his ipad not having battery power, about DVDs, about well, everything. 

DST brings about the lowing of his frustration tolerance; messes with sleep; which in turn lows his seizure threshold; which in turn lowers of frustration tolerance more and it takes at minimum 2-3 days to get back to normal.

I was always told that the principle behind DST was maximizing daylight hours for farmers and those who worked outside.   It was necessary before the industrial revolution when society was agrarian-based.  With the advent of electricity, battery power, machinery, combustible engines, maximizing daylight is no longer a necessity.  Yet, an overwhelming majority of the United States still engages in the use of DST, which under every other circumstances, I would give a second thought about its use.  However, seeing and hearing E complain about EVERYTHING moves me to the category of why do we still do DST.

Here's the thing - I don't care if DST becomes our permanent time or if standard time is our permanent time.  Just as long as there ceases to be no more leaping forward/ahead and no more falling back.

All I really know as I type this post is that I am tired, from yesterday's crabbiness and altered sleep pattern.  Perhaps, I'll try and go to sleep sooner tonight.  Hopefully, E will stay in his bed tonight.

Thanks DST for adding a wonderful variable to our happy autism.

Thanks for reading; more to come.

I HAVE RETURNED

WELL - I AM BACK......

It's been a more than a years since I have written and posted.  I have decided to come back to writing this blog for a number of reasons, which will get into as a rewrite this post for the third time.  #worstcriticofmywork

So where have I been for the last three years........

I took on certain altruistic commitments and volunteering grew greater importance in my non-E awake hours.  This volunteer commitment only increased when we moved closer to E's school as an hour of commuting to school was taking its toll on E.  

We decided that by moving closer to school would provide more opportunities for socialization and therapy, both of which turned out to be true.  Over the last three years, Sandi has started and finished her Master's in Nursing Degree as well as taken her boards and passed.  She is done with school and is enjoying her new role as health care provider and consultant.  Working towards her Master’s took her out of a lot of the day-to-day E-stuff.  Her weekdays over the last three years went like this:  Wake up, Drive to Work, Work, Drive Home, Shower (got to get rid of the MRSA), Eat, Study, Sleep, Repeat.  Her weekend days were Wake Up, Study, Eat, Study, Eat, Study, Eat, Study, Sleep, Repeat.  My primary job was to make sure that E's needs did not topple into her academia/professional world.  It worked for the most part.  An unintended secondary job was proofreading papers, making quiz cards and becoming more familiar with pharmacology, anatomy, nursing theory, pathophysiology et al than I care to be.

I balanced my time while E was at school and Sandi was at work between working for a Foundation in a variety of roles and being a member of various committees.  This volunteer work took up a great deal of my time and also contributed to my lapse in writing.  

When E was not at school, we traveled as usual.  E and I also went on trips to California, Nevada, Florida, New York, Minnesota, and Wisconsin.  We of course had our usual fun at various theme parks.  

I also went to Texas to see my bud, Adam.  We ate and drank.  We worked on the ranch/farm.  I shot a 9mm handgun, an AR-15 and hit a 6" target from 200 yards with a sniper rifle.   I had great fun in Texas and am leaving in two days to visit again.

Sandi and I also were fortunate to have a getaway without E.  A long weekend in Vegas with my bud, Adam, his wife, Aliina, A.A. and her friend and, of course, pop-ins by my mom, my brother and his wife.

After four years at the school in Naperville, and seeing certain aspects of the school move in a direction that would not necessary service E’s needs, we decided to move E to a new school.  Being on the “inside” of how a foundation works was enlightening, I guess enlightening is a good word for it.  While I am glad I had the opportunity, I doubt that I will ever put as much time and energy into a foundation again.  Why?  Well, to put it bluntly, foundation work is a full contact sport.

I have transitioned myself from this volunteer work and decided to shift the focus of my part-time law practice to special needs advocacy and limited transactional work.  Basically, only what I can reasonably take on in the six hours E is at school.  When I am not practicing, I will be writing and taking care of the business of E.  And business will only continue to get more complicated as he gets closer to aging out of the school system.

So life got in the way of me being able to write this blog.  I decided to get back to it because, well, I guess I have more to say now given all of the experiences of the last four plus years.

Some of the forthcoming posts will be funny (at least I think they will be), insightful (again, at least I think they will be), thought-provoking (ehhhhhh, maybe), educational (probably), personal (always).

Thanks for hopeful joining me again in reading.

Thanks for reading; more to come.